Parenting is not for cowards. Becoming a parent of influence starts when your child is still a youngster, so when they become adults, they know who to come to for godly advice. 
 
Being there as a parent for our children is a lifelong process. Just because our children become of age doesn’t mean that they are left to figure life out on their own. We should still be there.
Yes, they have to make their own choices, but we are there to impart Godly wisdom as needed and when asked. Sometimes, as parents, we think we still can expect our adult children to do what we say without question or resistance. But that is not true. A part of learning to make the transition into adulthood is understanding that our young adults have free will and they must be allowed to make their own choices. And deal with the consequences of those choices. 
As parents, it may be hard to let go. I know. But it is a growth process that has to happen on both sides.
Here are some steps to help you in adulting your young adult.

• Keep the lines of communication open.
• Allow for non-judgmental communication 
• Be approachable 
• Listen more to hear their heart and concerns.
• Pray for them and with them -give it to God
• Ask them for their solution, choices or decision.
• Ask if they want to know your experience with the situation and 
• Share your experience, good or bad and give your lessons learned.
• Respect them and their decisions 

Always point them to Jesus 
“But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.”  John 16:13
 
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jer . 29:11
 “looking unto Jesus, the [a]author and [b]finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” Hebrews 12:2
 
As your young adult grows, they will learn how to lean on God as they live their life, and they will appreciate the godly support you provide. 
 
How to confront bad behavior or choices.
Ephesians 4:15
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
It can be uncomfortable to address our adult children when they are doing wrong things. 
As a parent, we do have to confront the behavior and let them know where we stand and why, but at the end of the day, they have to choose what they will do. And the consequences are their own. If they choose to be accountable to us or a godly person, that’s awesome, but if they do not, it’s still their choice. As parents, we have to pray for God's help. Let go and let God!
It is tough, but God is able to reach our children in ways we can not.
The Bible says to train up a child in the way they should go and when they are old they will not depart from it. 
One key element is you! Reminding them of those lessons when needed, they will be more inclined to hear you and not depart from their foundational teachings.
This is the way of being a parent of influence. 
Living your faith in everyday life so they see your faith and hear your voice in the time of need.
And thereby developing a free-thinking adult capable of making wise choices and becoming a godly force in Society. Therefore, we fulfill our Lord's command to raise up a godly generation.
Deuteronomy 6:1-25
“These are the commands, decrees and laws the Lord your God directed me to teach you to observe in the land that you are crossing the Jordan to possess, 2 so that you, your children and their children after them may fear the Lord your God as long as you live by keeping all his decrees and commands that I give you, and so that you may enjoy long life.” 
Alexis Smith

Unresolved issues, could it be destroying your relationships…
I can recall a friend of mine who was having difficulties dealing with everyday life in peace. She was full of anger and anxiety over every little thing, She would go from 0 to 100 in seconds and just over exaggerate every situation. Yes, she was a Christian. She prayed every day, but she just was not happy.
You see, she had many fights with her mother as a child, and she felt that her mother never loved her or forgave her for her mistakes. So, when she became a Christian she welcomed the love of Christ and accepted His forgiveness over all her sins. She felt that sense of relief knowing she can be at peace with God but little did she know that the estranged relationship with her mother was still an issue that affected her today.
 She would overcompensate to win acceptance and approval by the people in her life, and when it was not returned, it would make her feel hurt and then angry, and before you know it, she would distance herself from the same people she wanted to be with. This was a cycle that went on for years.
Then one day when finally at her wit’s end because she could not build any meaningful relationships, she consulted a Christian life coach. During one of those sessions she was asked, “Have you forgiven yourself and forgiven others?” She said, “Of course!” She didn’t think that she was holding a grudge or had any unforgiveness in her heart. Then like a rushing wave breaking over the rocks,  emotions poured out of her heart, and she began to sob uncontrollably. Then she told the coach that she could not forgive herself for how she treated her mother and how she could not forgive her mother for disowning her as a child.
After her confession she was guided to the Bible verse in Eph 4:32, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
 Because God forgives us, we should also. It was hard at first, but she finally excepted forgiveness of herself and forgiveness of her mother. She allowed the Lord to heal her and today she is a happy person who has healthy relationships with others.
How many of us are affected by unresolved issues of our past? Do you think it could be the source of your relationship challenges?
Let’s pray: “Dear heavenly Father, please reveal to me any unresolved issues in my life that are hindering my relationships today. In Jesus name Amen”.
Alexis Smith
Christian Relationship Coach
​ms.alexis.org

Most people get married thinking that just because they have gotten married everything should be smooth sailing, no problems and perfect. Why? Because they love each other right? Unfortunately that is not the case. 
 Many of us get into relationships with rose colored glasses on. We see everything through those beautiful lenses and everything we see about each other is perfect. But as time goes by we began to see  all the flaws and imperfections and our once perfect mate has become a hot mess. Did they change overnight or did the prince become the toad you couldn’t see. 
The euphoria of being love is so powerful that it can blind you to some very obvious warning signs and before you know it you’ve been blindsided or hoodwinked. This happens all the time because we love to be loved and romanced. It’s understandable.
I too have gone through that several times and it ended in divorce because I did not take heed to the serious warning signs as I was being sweep off my feet to the alter and then stuck in a crazy marriage. If you find yourself in that situation and you’re now married to someone that has a lot of issues,  join the club! No one is perfect. If you want to stay married, you are going to have to put your rose colored glasses back on! Marriage is not for cowards it takes wisdom and serious effort to have a successful one.
If you want to know how to honor your vows to God and have the best marriage possible you have to see your spouse through Love. The unconditional love. “Love covers a multitude of faults.” 1 Peter 4:8
Even though you can’t change him, you can influence him by your chase conversation (behavior). 1 Peter 3:1  God can use you mightily to bless his life as a help meet suitable for him, Genesis 2:18
As the reality of your love assignment settles in, you have to be sober minded and vigilant to the fight, and glorify God in your marriage. 1 Peter 5:8
Through prayer and help from God you can go on to having a blessed and successful marriage that is fulfilling in every way. 
​
Alexis Smith
Christian Relationship Coach
Ms. Alexis.org