​Song of Solomon  2:15 Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that destroy the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.”
How many times do we go into self- preservation mode when we feel our self-esteem is threatened or we feel our needs are not being met? Simply put,  we are just one thought away from changing our lives for better or for worst.
I can remember the time when a friend and I were having a conversation and she commented on how she felt she had to keep her husband in check because she didn’t want him to take her for granted. I asked her why she felt that way and she replied that he works all week and he decided to go in for a little while on Sat.
 Her thoughts… He’s been at work all week it’s my time with him now. Why should I have to wait around for him to come home. I’ll show him that I’m not going to wait around for him. So I’ll go and come back later so he’ll be waiting for me. I’m not going to be at his beck and call….
Sounds familiar?
How many times do we play that game or better yet, allow the enemy to plant those seeds of discontentment in our heart.
As women of God sometimes we forget our marriage is not based on the world’s principles. It’s based on God ‘s principles. “Love”
 I Cor 13:4-8  4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;[a] 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
We are not only to serve our husbands and honor him, we are also to be a helper to him. We are on assignment. That is why it is necessary to stay out of self. One little thought of discontentment can open the door to a host of other feelings that can cause the enemy to come in like a flood. This can create a multitude of reactions which will cause a multitude of chain reactions that can lead to divorce.
This analogy happens far too often in relationships. Feelings left unattended, can create continual problems if not dealt with. By acknowledging and turning it over to God is the best practice.  Allow him to help you resolve and heal from any issues you have first. Then once you see clearly, you can pray for your husband and allow God to use you to be a help for him.  Matt. 7:5
Here are a few tips to help keep your relationship healthy:

1. Guard your heart. Prov. 4:23     “ Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

2.  Have a grateful heart.  1 Thess 5:18 “  give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”
3.  Bring all thoughts to captivity of Christ. When the thoughts come, the correct response should be based on truth and with a grateful heart.
2Cor:10:5 “ Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
4.   Renew your mind.
 Roman 12:2. “Do not be conformed to this world,[c] but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
5.   Think on these things….  
Phil 4:8-9  “ Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. 9 What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me—practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
6.  Pray for one another.
James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
Marriage is not for the faint hearted. It takes a discerning mind, a humble heart and lots of prayer to be the woman of God you need to be. At the end of the day, Love wins!
 May God be your strength!
Alexis Smith,
 Christian Relationship and Business Coach,

Love is the deepest and most fulfilling emotion one can feel. The total feeling that your well-being is in safe keeping in another’s heart. It’s the awareness that someone has the best intentions for you.
A great feeling, right?
So much so, that without it we die emotionally, spiritually and physically.  We need it like the air we breathe. God made us to love and be loved.  We need love so much that if we don’t feel loved we have all kinds of problems.  We see it society today, broken marriages, broken children and broken people all seeking love and crying out through various behaviors.
So many people are looking for Love, and don’t even know what love is.
God is Love! 1 John 4:7
When we try to describe this “deep to our core” love need, we know it is more than a feeling. It is a total wellness in our being that allows us to rest in our soul. It’s a knowing that we are totally cared for, protected and thought of for good in every way. It’s the security in knowing that we are not alone and someone other than ourselves, cares about us deeply and completely, even with all our faults.  Most of the time, we seek this type of love in each other before we have experienced these things in God. No one can fulfill this type of love perfectly. But God can. In fact, He made us to love.  God is Love and He created us to receive His love. Many people are seeking love, but what they are really looking for is God.
You will find that no one is immune to Love, it’s effect and it’s power. When we are loved by God we are able to love one another and our love is powerful because God’s love is powerful. 1 Cor 13 1-8 describes the beauty and the selflessness of God’s pure love.
 “Love Suffers long and is kind, love does not envy, love does not parade itself, is not puffed up, does not behave rudely, does not seek it’s own, is not provoked, thinks no evil, does not rejoice in iniquity  but rejoices in the truth, believes all things, hopes all things and endures all things. Love never fails!“
So many people are seeking Love and don’t know how to find it. They know they need it, but sometimes settle for any type of attention or affection to try to fulfill the void that only God is able to fill.
 The Bible states that if we love one another God abides in us and His love is perfected in us. (1 John 4:19).
Once we know the love of God, we are perfected in love. We will be able to have powerful and effective love that will change the world. Yes, what the world needs now is love, God’s Love. God gives us an example of the demonstration of His love by sending His Son Jesus to die for us, to save us, redeem us and restore us to wholeness. (John 3:16) By His love He is able to fill us with love so we can love each other.
Imagine the healing that can take place when we love as God has shown us. The divorce rate would drop, the suicide rate would go down, children will be emotionally healed and people will have hope again.
Love heals. I have seen it over and over again. Love truly conquers all.
“Many waters cannot quench love. Neither can the floods drown it.” Song of Solomon 8:7
That is why it is so important to have the right partner.  They can build you up or tear you down. In the right relationship where you are being loved by someone who knows love. It will thrive and grow.  But with someone who does not know love, it will be a train wreck. They will not understand the freedom of fear in love and may not be able to reciprocate this type of love because they’ve never experienced it before. Especially if they have been hurt in the past. Now imagine being in a relationship with someone who does not know the love of God. How can they love you when they do not know what real love is? And how can they be whole and complete without God’s love. It will show in their everyday life in how they treat you, themselves, and others.
This is why it is so important to show God’s love to our children all throughout their lives starting from a young age, so they will know what love is and what love is not.
Love your family, love your neighbors. Just as God freely gives us love we are to love freely. 
Even the unlovable, you say…
Yes. Love can make all the difference in a person’s life. I have seen it first hand, the power of love breaking that spirit of hatred and hurt over a person.
Where would we be without God’s gift of love?  I encourage you to love someone today. Show them what it means to love and be loved, God’s way.  God is love and love comes from Him. It is a gift to heal the world….one person at a time!
“As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” John 13:34
Blessings,
Alexis Smith