Unresolved issues, could it be destroying your relationships…
I can recall a friend of mine who was having difficulties dealing with everyday life in peace. She was full of anger and anxiety over every little thing, She would go from 0 to 100 in seconds and just over exaggerate every situation. Yes, she was a Christian. She prayed every day, but she just was not happy.
You see, she had many fights with her mother as a child, and she felt that her mother never loved her or forgave her for her mistakes. So, when she became a Christian she welcomed the love of Christ and accepted His forgiveness over all her sins. She felt that sense of relief knowing she can be at peace with God but little did she know that the estranged relationship with her mother was still an issue that affected her today.
She would overcompensate to win acceptance and approval by the people in her life, and when it was not returned, it would make her feel hurt and then angry, and before you know it, she would distance herself from the same people she wanted to be with. This was a cycle that went on for years.
Then one day when finally at her wit’s end because she could not build any meaningful relationships, she consulted a Christian life coach. During one of those sessions she was asked, “Have you forgiven yourself and forgiven others?” She said, “Of course!” She didn’t think that she was holding a grudge or had any unforgiveness in her heart. Then like a rushing wave breaking over the rocks, emotions poured out of her heart, and she began to sob uncontrollably. Then she told the coach that she could not forgive herself for how she treated her mother and how she could not forgive her mother for disowning her as a child.
After her confession she was guided to the Bible verse in Eph 4:32, “And be kind to one another, tenderhearted forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.”
Because God forgives us, we should also. It was hard at first, but she finally excepted forgiveness of herself and forgiveness of her mother. She allowed the Lord to heal her and today she is a happy person who has healthy relationships with others.
How many of us are affected by unresolved issues of our past? Do you think it could be the source of your relationship challenges?
Let’s pray: “Dear heavenly Father, please reveal to me any unresolved issues in my life that are hindering my relationships today. In Jesus name Amen”.
Christian Relationship Coach
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Min. Alexis Smith,